the weekly writings of a jamie

Edit: Wow! I had NO idea this post would get so much attention! Thank you, EVERYONE, for all your comments, interests, and feedback! I really appreciate it. I’m trying to respond to comments as quickly as I can, but I’m out of town with unreliable Internet, so it may take a bit.

I just want to say up front, if you have a fear of spiders or know of someone, go to this Allie Brosh post. It is possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever read. And you’ll relate and feel comforted knowing there are others like you.

The idea of this post came while I was experiencing one of my phobias in the Mall of America. As I bravely faced mine, I realized that most everyone has something that makes them profoundly uncomfortable, if not a downright basket case. Some of these fears have “official” scientific names. Some of them are common but not officially titled. Below are some of mine, listed below for your amusement, empathy, or sympathy.

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10. Falling on the down escalator – Weird, huh? I have absolutely no problem going up on escalators, but there is this exhilarating nervousness every time I have to step down the moving stair well. This fear is increased if I’m carrying luggage that might make me trip and/or fall. I just have this anxiety that the escalator will morph into a freakish monster that will suck me in, mutilate me, and spit me out. Morbid, I know, but it’s what goes through my head.

9. Climbing down when rock climbing – Also known as, “For some reason, your belayer cannot lower you and you have to climb down step by step.” I have quickly discovered that I have this strong dislike of going down things when there is the slightest threat that I might fall and hurt myself. This is made ten times worse when rock climbing when I also have to climb down facing into the rock like a normal climber (instead of looking out at the world around me, like a nervous freak.) I don’t know why this is, but there you go.

8. Being buried alive – This one has an official name, taphephobia: the fear of being buried alive or being in cemeteries. While I have no problem with cemeteries themselves (in fact, I really enjoy walking through them), but the thought of being buried alive in one of them… brrrr. Taphephobia ties closely to the fear of suffocation, which in and of itself does not have an official name. It is often also linked to claustophobia (which I guess you could say is a very specific variation of being trapped in a small, enclosed space.)

7. Fear of dolls (Pediophobia) – This actually has nothing to do with an unfortunate exposure Chucky or It. The problem with dolls is that they look too much like people. Even as a child, I sensed how very wrong this was and I didn’t like playing with them. I loved my stuffed animals because they are huggable, warm after you’ve held them, and they don’t look like people. They won’t come running after you with axes in your sleep (you hope.)

6. Some freakish monster/thing creeping into my bedroom and killing me, horribly – This fear only occurs to me when I’m unable to sleep and a little more, uh, tense than usual. My solution is to hide under my covers, close my eyes, and just pray it kills me quickly. I’d rather hide under the blankets than run away wondering when the nameless “it” will sink its long claws / teeth / tentacles around me and end it. I know many friends would rather fight to the death, but I’m not one of them.

5. Seeing something move independently of me in a reflective surface OR being sucked into a scary mirror world and being haunted by evil mirror people – The closest “official” term I could find was Eisoptrophobia: the fear of mirrors or seeing oneself in a mirror. I think this fear derives from a freakishly scary story my dad made up when I was a child. He told me there was a whole world on the other side of the mirror. In this world, there were good mirror people (often your reflections) and bad mirror people, who wanted to drag you to the mirror land so they could haunt you forever… You can only imagine how my active imagination took this over and refused to look into a mirror for three months, let alone looking at one in the dark.

4. Vein patterns appearing where they shouldn’t be This warrants some explanation. I work at a doctor’s office and help develop XRays there. Something went wrong with our processor and for a while, the developed film had all these little vein patterns, as if the patient’s arteries had suddenly exploded and calcified while the XRay was taken. It was quite possibly the freakiest thing I’ve ever seen. It might tie to my queasiness about needles in veins, but I’m not sure. All I can say is: if there’s a vein pattern on a person, on a book, or somewhere else where it looks generally out of place, I’m a little freaked out by it.

3. Being in the water with alligators, crocodiles, or sharks Ever since I was little, I’ve had recurring scary dreams of swimming in waters I knew had one of the above mentioned animals in it. I’ve read that such dreams can symbolize feeling overwhelmed in real life (which makes sense as these dreams commonly occur when I’m very busy or stressed.) Interestingly, I’ve never dreamt of being attacked by said creatures; it’s the constant threat they might attack. This could stem from my fear of being in the water with aquatic life, period. The thought of fish swimming around and touching me… brrrr. (Though, ironically, I would really love to swim with dolphins and/or manta rays. Those are the only two that make the list though.)

I couldn’t think of two more that I was personally afraid of, so I borrowed from friends:

2. Fear of water (hydrophobia) I have a friend who really, really doesn’t like the ocean. Or swimming pools. Or large bodies that could potentially drown her. She’s not afraid of a controlled space, like a shower or bath, but the thought of something bigger makes her rather uncomfortable. I always forget this until we’re right in the middle of an intense water-type scene in a movie and she’s started breathing rather fast…

1. Fear of plants filmed during a time lapse You know those nature documentaries that show flowers opening and closing throughout the day, or plants shoot up out of the ground as they grow during spring? Yeah. I have a friend who doesn’t like that very much. I haven’t figured out what it is, but something about that accelerated time lapse makes her profoundly uncomfortable and creeped out.

Other “official” phobias I found that were unusual, interesting, or unique:

Consecotaleophobia – Fear of chopsticks (stay away from most of Asia. And Chinese restaurants.)

Hagiophobia – Fear of holy things (maybe if you’re a werewolf or some other creature of the night. Sparkly vampires need not apply.)

Sinistrophobia – Fear of left-handed-ness or objects on the left side of the body (does the first part look like “sinister” to anyone else? Wonder what that’s derived from)

Onomatophobia – Fear of names or hearing certain names (Probably derived from the same origin as “onomatopoeia,” words that sound like sounds.)

Lutraphobia – Fear of otters. (Really, otters? How could you be scared of otters? They’re so friendly and playful and happy! They’re like water puppy dogs. )

And winner for longest phobia name ever:
Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia – Fear of the number 666.

So folks, that’s your weird Jamie Words post for today! Phobias are endlessly fascinating because they can be so tailored to our quirks as individuals. What turns your stomach or makes you profoundly uncomfortable? If you relate to any of these, you should tell me so I don’t feel so alone.

If you don’t, but have phobias of your own, you should tell me anyhow. Who knows? This might generate fodder for your next Postsecret’s postcard. You never know when people will spring up and say, “That freaks me out too!!” You can generate your own support group without having to try. )

Tell me in the comments below!

(References/Resources:
The Phobia List
Wikipedia
Stock.xchng

Image is from Stock.xchng, all rights reserved. And Jamie is very sorry she didn’t notice the watermark in time before the popularity of this post exploded. Now she can’t find the image to get an un-watermarked version. Of course.)